Life with a PURPOSE

you left. just a simple message. everything is over. is not your fault. cause is mine. i do things to harshly. i didn't cared about your feelings. i didn't cared how you do. i didn't care are you okey. all i care is whether i'm still in there.

everytime i think about this. i hope what you say isn't real. i always thought you cope it up just because you want to concentrate on your studies. i hope and believe one day you will be back. but i also think that i'm no worthly. I don't know what's God plan. but i just hope, just hope. hmmm, when people say love is to see the person you love to be happy. but i don't know why. maybe i have being hindering God's love. His grace, unconditional love. His mercy. His greatness.

Is it what you prayed and work for you will get it? Is it? I know God will prepare someone. but i just can't stop thinking about you. i so stubborn. even i want to laugh at my stubborniness. hopeless. days and days passed. the end of the days is near. but why am i still not alert. Chao yi what do you want. can you just tell me. i don't understand why. why are you like that. so helpless, so mei yong. like nothing you done had glorify God. Do you think you are worth to be His servent?

I can't fellowship, i can't love people with God given love. I can't talk, cause i got personal problem. and that really destory my self condifence totally. i just hope for a simple and happy life. and that the hardest. simple! happy! those words are so far far away. not within my reach...