Life with a PURPOSE

I almost lost myself to my emotion today. Jealousy, a sin.
Everytime i lose to jealousy.
Jealousy is wrong wrong wrong!!!
Very hard to control.
Feel like giving up and losing hope.
Lucky, God helped me.
But i still thinking over it.
Tell me what to do...
Is it I think too much or is the truth?

One night a man had a dream. He dreamed he was walking along the beach with the LORD. Across the sky flashed scenes from his life. For each scene, he noticed two sets of footprints in the sand; one belonging to him, and the other to the LORD.

When the last scene of his life flashed before him, he looked back at the footprints in the sand. He noticed that many times along the path of his life there was only one set of footprints. He also noticed that it happened at the very lowest adn saddest times of his life.

This really bothered him and he questioned the LORD about it. "LORD, you said that once I decided to follow you, you'd walk with me all the way. But I have noticed that during the most troublesome times in my life, there is only one set of footprints. I don't understand why when I needed you most you would leave me."

The LORD replied, "My precious, precious child, I love you and I would never leave you. During your times if trial and suffering, ywhen you see only one set of footprints, it was then that i carried you."


Even i had the chance to read this many times. everytime i read i felt touched.
So this is for people out there who didn't get the chance to know this =)

Sianz... Laptop crush...
Can't even start up...
I think need to go and repair ba...
Is like there is PAM! ITA! DGA!!!
I am dead la...
Need to redo my ITA!
Hope the laptop somehow can be fixed...

All my hope is on Friday le...
I want response...
Maybe sign languages or code will do...
Maybe it isn't time yet...

But i just wanna an answer...

So close/near yet so far.
I don't know.
I think today should be, i will be there for you instead i you be there for me.
You are already very sad, i shouldn't expect anything from you.
I should be sitting, standing beside you to lend you a listening ear.
I don't know, maybe it went deeper in le.
Gald that God protected you.
Next time let me be there for you.
Even just asking for my presense is already enough for me.
I want to do something for you.

People And Noe Do Answer...
Can give me an obvious response?
I scare i might be wrong observing... =(

I saw a personal message: 'thank God'.
It remindered me there alot of things i need to thank God too.

Firstly, i want to thank God for answering prayers.
Just felt so thankful but don't know who to explain.
So many times, He answer prayers.
One of them is someone is sick, and after prayer that person recovered.

Secondly, i want to thank God for give me a good and nice tester.
Which helps alot during my test.
Btw, i was having a test about maintaining plants in park PRATICALLY!
But there is oral too, so is mix of pratical and theory lor.
Thank God for the smooth test, even i am nervous abit.

That's more of the main thing ba... There so many to Thank God.
Even having this life, the friend i met, i want to Thank God.
He really protected me. =D

Hmmm, last time... i thought friends are those who will just betary you one day. It matters only whether that day will come anot. If you are lucky, that day wouldn't come. But things aren't like that, then why are there such things as true friends, good friends, closed friends.

I was touched, my dry tear glands leaked some tiny tears out. It have been a long time i even felt touch by humans stuff. Haha, humans are imperfect and i am imperfect. And I am in no place to think those negative stuff about humans. I had a new aspect about humans. Love. Not romance that kind of love. But a friendship kind. Had you even seen a person that treasure his or her friends so much that She/Him don't want them to know SHE/HIM REALLY TREASURE IT. Really actions speaks louder then words. Haha, it really hard to get together and be close friends. Treasure those that you taken for granted. WHICH INCLUDES ME.... (i mean i also take people for granted x.x)

Have i even cried for a friend? Haha...

Lol, it makes me remember how weak i am. Last time i cried because my classmates cut queue, i cried because my friend spoilt my marker. LoL.. Even naive rite. So easy cry. No wonder now no more tear le la.

The rainbow that comes after the storm is the most beautiful... hang on! and watch the rainbow!!! When there is bad then you will know what is good. When there is storm, then you will understand how beautiful the rainbow was...

FIGHTENED...

At last txp test finally over. I know i going to fail for sure. YEAH!

Now i am alone.
Is time for totally faith in God.
I shouldn't depend on anyone else.
Now i had offended everyone in the class.
Haha, time to be back where i am from the start.
So is better for me to keep quiet and make no friend.
The real me is just so disgusting and ugly...
Maybe i just am wearing a mask.

Rah, this is impossible lor.
Btw, i am studying my txp for the test 2 tomorrow.
I go try out the past year paper.
Guess what, i don't even know the answers for all the 50 questions.
I am gone lor...
Tomorrow test sure is paper see me i see paper de.
How, this time last minute work cannot work le.
My brain so bloated now even though nothing had gone in...

Hai, keep thinking are you okay.
Are you feeling better.
Wanna ask, but scare to wake you up from sleep.
Will you be going tml? I don't know should i encourage or discourage.

WA!!! my brain.... Lord tell me what to do...

Spirit of God,
please change my heart,
And give me a new desire;
I want to be a man of peace,
Not controlled by anger’s fire. —K. De Haan

When a person’s temper gets the best of him,
it often reveals the worst of him.

The day i died...
24/07/2007
I have lost myself to my emotional and lousy temper.
This time, i decided to take up a challenge.
I going to make my turning point.
I know i screwed myself.
Cause i have stubbornly sitting on the throne in my life.
I didn't submit to Him.
I am such a hypocite.
I challenge myself to overpower my emotional with the help from Him.
I gotta surrender my throne in life.
Let Him take control.
Cause i screwed it all up when i'm sitting on it.
1 month.
It will be very tough.
But i believe, with Him as my enabler, all things is possible.
I gotta put my life to another phrase.
Putting all my faith to the extreme and let Him mould me.
Clearing my the messy i have done in my life.

I know i have make you angry once again.
When you said, mei you wei kuo le.
I know you care.
Maybe is self disceiving, but i believe.
I want to do something i never done before.
So please give me the chance to mi du what i have done.
Just tomorrow.
The future i leave it to you.

I was lost. I searched around for His words. Then i decided to go to our daily bread. And guess what. The topic of today is anger management. Woot... God answers to prayer... proved so many times...

Matthew 6:32-33
For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.

Pagans are those who seek out their worldly desires.

What i got from these verses:
seek first his kingdom and his righteousness... MOST IMPORTANT...
and all those needs will be given...

SELF REFLECTION:
long long time...

angry of myself...
i will busted cause i am angry with what i do...
then i show out...
then i busted...
everything gone.,,
felt lost...
ask for help...
help is there...
God provides...
i found back the lost one...

Wahahaha!!! Same photo as YQ's... Haha, that proves how beautiful God's creation is...

只要能够远远这样看着你,看着你
就算伤心心里还是好想你,好想你
只要能够静静这样陪着你,陪着你,陪着你
就算分手还是想着喜欢你,喜欢你,喜欢你

我好希望整个地球就剩下我和你
我就能 勇敢的说 我还爱你
我好希望我会忘记这再见的身影
我不再回忆也不再伤心
只要能够这样静静陪着你,陪着你,陪着你
就算分手还是想着喜欢你,喜欢你,喜欢你

我好希望整个地球就剩下我和你
我就能 勇敢的说 我还爱你
我好希望我会忘记这再见的身影
我不再回忆也不再伤心

I don't know!!! standard answer from Teoh Chao Yi...
Do you have what it takes to be what you wanted to be???
Or you just can only sit and look from far???
Are you going to find excuses and run away from things???
Are you going to make things more complicated???
What are you going to do???

TEOH CHAO YI ANSWER ME!!!

Very tired. Lost all my spirit. In the farm we were taught about organic farming. Really hot and tiring... T.T wondering how are you doing? Are you feeling better? I did nothing that helped you except waking you up from you healing sleep. Really sorry, i don't mean to wake you up. X.X... Today isn't right, feeling like something or someone is missing. Like there's a empty space somewhere there. Just so out of spirit and lost. Playing around with the handphone just hoping you might just sms and say that you are feeling better.

Most saddening is, i think is my fault that you got more sick. Heard of you not feeling good le. Then still asked you to eat heaty stuff. x.x poor obsever... Next time must be more alert x.x

Really hope you will get well soon. I rather me have the pain then you. Is like, i should be the one suffering. Haiz...

But I still want to say THANK YOU!!!
Thank you Lord!!!
May you guide the way through...

yes...

http://www.secret-loves.com/index.php?test=935988
Try and you will see =)

God is the One who created heaven and earth.
The One who created humans in His own likiness.
How ever men chose to sin.
But He still loved us.
The unconditional love.
He so loved us He gave us His only Son Jesus.
When we fall away from Him and we can't feel anything and we assume He had given up on us.
The truth is, we are the one giving up instead.
When we meet those trials and obstacles, we complaint.
The truth is, we grow cause of those trials and obstacles He given us.
Imagine from young you never fall and fail.
And one day, a small and tiny problem falls, what will you do?

Let God take charge...

I heard something. Sorry actually doesn't help. What helps is you felt sorry and you do something about it rather then just saying sorry and carry saying sorry.

Okay i was busted today. Cannot ta han le.

Lets talk about the happy stuff. Actually all i wanted was just some wen hou from you.
And i was really glad you did.
And i really helps me.
Right after the wen hou, i felt so much better.

Hai, need to pratice self control.
control my emotions and thinking...

How i wish i could be a friend of yours...
Who you really can trust and share your worries and trouble with...
Being a listening ears which listens to how are you feeling...
Who can offer you a shoulder when you need it...
who can offer you tissue when you felt like crying...
who can go through hardship and harvest with together...
who understand you and can comfort you...
watch the sun raise and fall with...
being with through the lowest point of life...
searching the turth in God together...
And go to the sea side and scream with you when you felt like screaming all your burdens out...

will i be able to be your friend???
there are reason why they have no reason...

When i tried to help, instead of solving the problem, i think i make it worst.
I really hope she could be happy again by making her laugh,
But it isn't that easy.
I think i should really listen to her and keep my ****** mouth shut.
Or else she really will get annoyed.
If i was you, i would have get annoyed.
You was really kind.
Really hope God will bless you with His Great LOVE...
And you will be happy forever... =)

All the best, i couldn't do much for you... x.x
If i could count what i have done and what you have done...
I think i owe you millions of thank you and sorry...

Really thank you for going today. I hope you wouldn't forced or pity me de. I hope you really enjoy and happy.

Were you happy? That very important, today and yesterday.

I can say I am...=) THANKS

I thought i have change just that little bit.
But no. I still as stubborn as usual.
As uselesss, as weak. Unable to handle things.

IDIOT!!! stop dreaming.

Today actually was =( cause there was a guilt that bothered me.
And cause i am sick, it added on.
In Clementi Woods Park i really felt like hell.
But in Clementi Woods Park, i suddenly felt God's wonderful creation.
The trees, the wind, the atmosphere, it was so peaceful.
My steps were slower but it isn't heavy but i really felt peaceful.
Quite true, you really can find God's love in time of troubles.
Sorry for today, i really very 'emo'...
Then heard them about saying emo is wrong.
Then i started think that emo people should be alone rite.
No wonder people become alone.
Cause they were left alone when they emo...
Crappy theory from me...

Dinner was great.
Hot PLATE!!! WOOT...
THE FOOD WAS NICE AND SO DOES THE ATMOSPHERE...

You was really very cute.
Even when you said you are angry you are so cute ^^
My day ended =)
Overall is : =D

The rainbow after the storm is so beautiful =)
It's more then colour.

I Teoh Chao Yi, 12/07/07 spoilt a day of someone who have been nice and kind to me. I really slow, couldn't change and adapt to sudden change in stituation. In 12/07/07, I am still a coward that runs away when troubles hits. I am still mei yong. Really, it isn't being negative or something. ALL i want to say is i am really sorry. I really don't wanna lose someone who is nice to me. I will be once again lonely.
You were the one who gave me strength when i am losing hope.
You were the one who cheered me up when i am miserable.
You were the one who stay by me when i am lonely.
You bought me joy that no one have done before.
You were the one who never despite me.
You were the one who cares and were with me.
You were the source of happiness and joy on earth.
I know it isn't qiao, it arranged.
God gave me the chance to meet you.
God gave me the chance to be friend with you.


Losing you is the biggest regret.

Just as the song says, miracle will happen only when you believe.

You may be always searching for the latest movies,
but sometimes, you might just be longing for a gd company.
You may be fiddling around with your handphone,
but sometimes, you might just be having hopes that someone special might sms you.
You may be the best dressed, but sometimes, you might just be wishing that someone out there sees your inner beauty.
You may be watching endless videos, reading endless comics, and playing endless games, but sometimes, you might just be longing for some real excitement in your life.
You may be playing beautiful music in a quiet place alone, but sometimes, you might just be wishing for a very special audience to appreciate your music in a very deep way.

Today, playing soccer in the rain. Torture lor. Then i went to take temperature only 35.5 degree cleuis. Omg, am i sick. I was only joking to be sick to don't go CATS. Cannot go school means miss alot of chances and moments. X.X

Haha, today only manage to do 3 sets of the exercise thingy with jabez.

Bu gou yong qi...

Someone friendly,
someone kind,
someone trustworthly,
someone nice looking,
someone who can bring joy,
someone who is cute,
someone who is cheerful,
must important... someone who is someone...

Bring joy and smile =) THANK YOU!!!

Woot, at last i got a new phone and starting using line!!! WUUUU!!!! THank Lord and my parents.

Every breathe i breath is a blessing from You...
Every step i take is a blessing from You...
Every moment i had is a blessing from You...
Everytime i get to wake up from my sleep, is a blessing from you...

I am so blessed, cause of You and Your great LOVE!!!

1 Corinthians 13: 4-7
Love is patient,
love is kind,
It does not envy,
it does not boast.
It is not proud.
It is not rude,
it is not self-seeking.
It keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil,
But rejoices with the turth.
It always protects, always trust,
Always hopes,
Always perserveres.

Felt so childish today... Hai =x So tired...
Haha, but on the way home, i laughed all my way =D
Thanks to jabez... wahahahaha

When You Believe

Many nights we've prayed
With no proof anyone could hear
In our hearts a hopeful song
We barely understood
Now we are not afraid
Although we know there's much to fear
We were moving mountains
Long before we knew we could

There can be miracles
When you believe
Though hope is frail
It's hard to kill
Who knows what miracles
You can achieve
When you believe
Somehow you will
You will when you believe

In this time of fear
When prayer so often proves in vain
Hope seemed like the summer birds
Too swiftly flown away
Yet now I'm standing here
My heart's so full
I can't explain
Seeking faith and speaking words
I never thought I'd say

There can be miracles
When you believe
Though hope is frail
It's hard to kill
Who knows what miracles
You can achieve
When you believe
Somehow you will
You will when you believe

They don't always happen when you ask
And it's easy to give in to your fear
But when you're blinded by your pain
Can't see your way safe through the rain
Thought of a still resilient voice
Says love is very near

There can be miracles
When you believe
Though hope is frail
It's hard to kill
Who knows what miracles
You can achieve
When you believe
Somehow you will
Now you will
You will when you believe

You will when you believe
Just believeGotta believe
You will when you believe


Written by: S.Shwartz - Additional Music by BabyfaceSKG Songs (ASCAP)/Songs Of SKG/ECAF Music Inc. (BMI)

Tired, tired, tired...
The night was another scary night... =X
Maybe it's time to stop thinking for a moment...
My brain is exhausted...
That night my brain almost exploded and in my day today it almost too...
Time to sleep early le.
But sleep early means i wouldn't get to do the things i wanted to do...
How?

Panada is dying, i need bamboo...

FORMAL DE>>>

Today, i woke up 'early' in the morning. It's 11am. Waha. So early lor. OKey! i lobstering.
Haha, scare late so decided to take MRT (another excuses to say i'm lazy x.x)...
Kkz, in the end, i'm the earliest. Flip the laptop wieght like book 1001 PLANTS...
Kkz, sofia is 2nd. Then found out that she eaten and siang hoon also eaten.
Then went long john and eat lor. Buy too much fries, in the end, ended stuff it down.
Then went to library to do project lor. DO! DGA! DO! DGA!...
Still quite alot to do x.x...

Siang hoon left cause of astro. So decided to go fish shop in Jurong east. Then left for it.I went alone, cause she got something on... Then sofia keep saying i might lose my way there. LOL... OKEY LA, Jurong east quite big ba... HAHA...In the end i found it lor, and got sell red worms too =)!!! Haha, another great day...

Tomorrow's YOUTH Sunday! WOOT!

Woot, group 5 stone!!! Siang hoon and sofia so hardworking... HAHA!!! I very slacky lor. 1st of all siang hoon really done alot. Even she can't understand what i mean. Generation gap. NO la... Haha... So much to do but so little time. But i believe in them, we will make it through!!! Sofia too sweet, bee sting... LOL!!!

Today, i saw what is a real true friend... SO touched... There's such people on this world... YOU PEBBLE!!! ahaha

I am scared. Really scared. I fear. Really fear. Imagine trapped in the middle of traffic jam. You only can move forward. There's no way out from the back. I am losing hopes.

TIME, why do you have to play with me...
I am STUCK. Lord!

I know i not suppose to post all these moody post le. But i just can't... =(

This is extracted from part of the passage:
"If freedom has become boring to you, or if you tend to focus on what you can't do, consider this: Not only are you no longer a slave to sin, but you are freed to be holy and to enjoy eternal life with Christ Jesus"

Living for Christ bring true freedom...

I learning the arts of sleeping while keeping the eyes open. High level okey. I need to do preparation like sleeping late everyday so that i can sleep in class and learn that ultimate skill. Woot, the times i had was so blessed. I don't know, i really enjoyed. Every second was laughter after laughter. If one day, if it will be over. It will be the end of days...

Zhi zhu... that really a human needed earthly...

Thanks even though i screwed up and disappointed you all...
Sorry that i wasted all the efforts...
Sorry that i didn't cherish...
Sorry to Chaoyi...
Sorry, for saying sorry now...
S O R R Y isn't enough to express how sorry i am...

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will there be one arrow that will be different?

Thank you 1G02 for the present!!! That's really great.

I believe... There was dark clouds. No light shine through. When you were lost. In total darkness. No one's there. You felt hopeless and helpless. I scare of what is going to happen next.
Then a beam of light appear. From one corner of the room, the light spread and soon after that, the room is filled with light. All worries, fear, troubles, burdens, were send away with darkness.
Hopes fills the room. can you feel the joys?

Blessed to have a friend like you... =) God is so Good

In the darkest moment, you are the light.
In the brightest moment, you are the star.
In the loniest moment, you are the joy.
In the happiest moment, you are the angel.

Wishing upon the star. Wishing for a miracle...

You made it special and different =)

17th year of my life on this earth. 17 years, a blessing from God to live for 17 years. Even though there are trials, obstacles, stubbling stones. He brought me through. Even it had been tough but I know that He is moulding me. Imagine life without, those. Maybe i will be a small little boy forever. I might also never the sweetiness gained from tough works. He so faithful. 17 years my parents fulfil their duty to take care of me. Really want to thank them for their care and concern. They have been my guardian angels.

17 years on earth. Maybe i could have walk around the world for one round?
Haha, every step i took show His love.
Any second, step, mini second, semi mini second, one breathe, one atom viberate.
My life could have end there, but He kept me alive.
There's a reason. Cause HE LOVE ME=)

2007, this birthday was the best.
I recieve msg from someone i wished to msg me. Thank God!
I see people that left and walk their different goals remembering me. Thank God!

To 1G02,
You people rocks. Even time may be tough. But together we can make it through.
3 years from now, we will become the one that we may wished to be.
Really thank you those who were there to help, even though i don't make fully use of the efforts.
I really appreicate those helps, advices, life experiences from you people out there.
I had a great day from the morning till the end of the day.
Really glad to have a chance to take photos with you people.
Haha, even i'm poor in smiling. But ya, thank you for the chance you people created.

Haha, finally the movie. Transformers. Trust me, is worth to watch it over and over again. It's really a nice movie. I think i will give 5 starts out of 5 stars. So ya...

A new year, a new life, a new begining, a new goal, a new dream, a new direction, a new created one...

I thinks that what she say is true...
This time, hope the advise will go into my brain...
Cause i have been turn my ears deaf to advise...
And i screwed up...

There's a time for everything...
The key is to do the right thing at the right timing...
And not to chiong all the way aimlessly...

IT's friend's time ...

Felt so mei yong =X...
If i was given a wish, i hope she will be always happy and always healthy...
So you gotta grant it?

Blinded... why didn't i notice it x.x Next time i must open my eyes big big OO!!

Haha, i thought today is youth sunday. Then found out it's holy com. instead. Anyway, holy com. more important. Another week over. And i'm entering week 12 of poly school life. Maybe i already entered. Cause it's 1.06am now le. Okey, this time i really really last minute. I am like just finish my txp name memorisation only. Some more not so clear x.x...

Two point that i got from today's sermon...
Firstly, when making decision or going to speak when frustrated.
STOP! call God's name repeatly and ask the Holy Spirit for guidance how to react or what to do.

Prayer was daily, cause it was really important. Even it maybe seems simple, but it really are all the foundation and support for us. Prayer is the most powerful tool in life. So ya...

What more could i ask for? It's really a great bless for you to be my friend =)
This time, i will do things differently. Hope i will...
All is given, so what next...
Return what i've promise...

~~~ [DGA group, thanks again for the effort... HAHA...] ~~~