Life with a PURPOSE

this blog will be dead until i become a better man...

i fear that i might irritated you and something big will happen. and it really happened. it happened before i can't post this post. it true that i really sux. from young to now, i sux until no one can be more sux then me....

last night, i struggled... struggled so hard... haha, you seems to be happy without my presence... all the best... hope you will be happy always...

i know, is worth it...

I thought i can help you along... but instead i am the one always asking for help and asking someone to pity... since i can't do anything that can make you happy... maybe i should leave... i sure your life will be better... all the best...

when i felt that feeling. so fightening and scary. as if you will be with another one. i know that you do not belong to anyone. i scared of losing you. i told myself that you still like me. but is that true?

but seeing your bright and shinny smile, i found out that seeing you happy is far more important inside my heart. eveything i done seems to worth it. Really hope you will be happy forever. I always believe that there will be a miracle between us.

haha, haha... my worries are just extra...

no matter, is holiday or school...
just be yourself...
Must be happy! can promise me?

The most tiring thing for me isn't how's life. But being tired of myself. I don't know what the **** I want. Floating here and there and seems like that wouldn't be a ending. Can you ever imagine??? Thinking over same stuff over and over again. Searching for the same few answer for a few times??? Maybe next time i will write down the answers so I wouldn't think over the same thing again.

Life so "calm" now. Except some downfalls. Feeling so guilty, when I did not do those stuff they i used to sing in worship. The next phrase is coming, my poly life. I can be tough if I don't depend on God.

Even you wanted me to stop, i couldn't.
Treat it as i'm doing it in secret.
Just let me do it.
When the time pass, I will know what is needed to be done.
But you must give me chance.
Please don't shut the door.
Cause I will be at the door waiting.
Until you and I am ready.
Even you might not open, or i might not be there.
But I still need a chance.
So I will not regret, and lose peacefully.
Be Happy, cause then i will be Happy.
It really hurts when you are feeling bad, miserable, confuse...

Labels: chance is all i needed

breaking down again and again. it sux. i just hope that i can heck care all the things that is going on. just stop think. maybe even brain dead just to stop thinking over the same thing. even time i tell the inside me the answer. but the inside me just keep asking all again. so tiring.

you said. B like A. does it means that A must like B? If A must like B. then why can't C like A? why why why. why must life be so complicanted. why can't i just be a idoit and don't need to think. just sit there and wait for other to feed. why am i making things more complicated. why am i so annoying. why am i so stupid. why am i so stubborn. why why. i just couldn't get rid. why can't i just come close with GOd. there's a freaking big wall between us. always there. never being remove. everyday the wall just grow and grow. seems like theres no end to it. a are just further and further apart. like one day something big is going to happen...

rah rah rah rah!!!!!!!!!! WHY WHY!!!!!!!!!!!